Wasted Lives
by ScratchEP
Summary: A visit to a planet from her childhood makes Beka reconsider her life, and she might just need Dylan as a shoulder to cry on. Chapter four now up.
1. Chapter one

Wasted Lives - chapter one  
  
Disclaimer - Much as I wish they were mine, and however long I wait for Father Christmas to deliver me the rights I don't and never will own any of the characters created, or devised, by the genius Gene Roddenbury, R.I.P.  
  
Pairings - Beka/Dylan duh!!  
  
Rating - PG-13 just to be on the safe side.  
  
Archiving - Ask and it will be granted but please don't take it without asking.  
  
The tears ran down her face, burning a path through her smooth skin. As they reached her mouth Beka could taste the harsh salt with her tongue. The door beeped and flung her out of her daze.  
  
A male voice spoke softly.  
  
'Beka, are you in there? Please answer, are you there?' Dylan  
  
hesitated before he entered the room, and Beka didn't turn to face him. She didn't know if she could face his questions right now. But she realised she didn't have much choice in the matter, he was after-all 'Captain'.  
  
From where Beka lay she could feel him sit down on the bed next to her, his weight pulling the cover, stretching it. She just sniffed and lay even more still than she already was, on her side with her back to him. He placed his hand on her shoulder and Beka could feel the heat radiate through her skin.  
  
But that wasn't all that was radiating. She could feel a stream of tingles travel from her shoulder down her arm. Why? She shook the thought out of her head.  
  
'Look, I'm sorry, it was really... awful of me to ask you to go to  
  
Acconiam. The city is just too...' he trailed off, shaking his head as he didn't want to set Beka off again. She had regained her normal pace of breathing from the breathless state she had been in before. Only the occasional stammered sob escaped.  
  
Then Beka sat up. With a single strong movement Dylan twisted her  
  
round until she was facing him. With his sleeve he wiped the lines of makeup of her face, as she sat with her arms crossed across her body as if protecting herself. Dylan pulled he into a hug and she released her arms and wrapped them around him. She collapsed into tears again and fell against his chest. He stroked her hair, and whispered how sorry he was in a soothing tone. They sat for a moment before Beka regained control of herself and sat up, pulling out of the hug. She spoke,  
  
'Don't tell anyone about me crying Dylan. If Tyr gets hold of this I  
  
won't hear the end of it for weeks.'  
  
Dylan began to laugh but promised he wouldn't tell a soul.  
  
'I'll see you later, come back onto the Andromeda as soon as your OK,  
  
OK?' he said as he stood up to leave. He kissed Beka on the top of the head, and she felt safe again. 


	2. Chapter two

Wasted Lives - chapter two  
  
Disclaimer - Much as I wish they were mine, and however long I wait for Father Christmas to deliver me the rights I don't and never will own any of the characters created, or devised, by the genius Gene Roddenbury, R.I.P.  
  
Pairings - Beka/Dylan duh!!  
  
Rating - PG-13 just to be on the safe side.  
  
Archiving - Ask and it will be granted but please don't take it without asking.  
  
Dylan turned his head just enough to see Beka stroll into command. She looked much better, her makeup had been reapplied and her eyes had returned to their normal waxen colour, from the red they had been earlier. He continued speaking to Andromeda, "Andromeda, have you obtained contact with the planet?" "Yes, I am patching them through now." A face materialized on the screen. Without warning it began immediately to speak, "Captain Hunt, I presume. I am Ambassador Vellen. I will be dealing with you once you have arrived on the planet. May I inquire as to how many members of your crew will be coming down to the planet?" Dylan paused for a moment, taking all of that in, before replying. "Just myself and the avatar of my ship, Rommie. Where should we." but before Dylan could finish Beka interrupted him. " Actually make that three people coming." Dylan spun round and looked Beka in the eye. He could see she was nervous about this but after two years of working with her, he knew that he was not going to change her mind. Turning back to the Ambassador he confirmed that there would be three people arriving on the planet, and left Rommie to recover the necessary details about landing. "Beka, walk with me." announced Dylan as he strode up the ramp. Beka purely took in the three words that struck terror into Harper's heart, as she took three strides and caught up with Dylan. " I just wanted to make sure you were really OK, coming down to the planet. What I mean is I know that part of your life was hard, and I don't want you to do anything you are not completely happy about. I don't want you to put pressure." "Look Dylan, I'm fine. I have to face up to what happened in the past some time. And while I have something else, like a diplomatic mission, to worry about, I will be fine." "OK, but just remember I am there for you, every step of the way," he said as he put his arm around her shoulder and headed of to pack their bags. 


	3. Chapter three

Wasted Lives - chapter three  
  
Disclaimer - Much as I wish they were mine, and however long I wait for Father Christmas to deliver me the rights I don't and never will own any of the characters created, or devised, by the genius Gene Roddenbury, R.I.P.  
  
Pairings - Beka/Dylan duh!!  
  
Rating - PG-13 just to be on the safe side.  
  
Archiving - Ask and it will be granted but please don't take it without asking.  
  
Dylan took his seat in command of the Maru. Beka walked to the front of the upper platform and carried on reading her flexi, leaving Rommie at the back of the craft to carry on with Rommie stuff. "Opening doors," announced the familiar voice of the Andromeda over the system. "OK, let's go get them," said Beka as she looked up from her flexi, and smiled at Dylan. Dylan laughed and began to pilot the Maru out of the dock. Within a few minutes they were nearer the planet.  
  
Beka jumped down the steps and landed with a bang on the steel floor. "Beka, the reason we have steps is so that you don't have to jump." smirked Dylan as he snatched a glance towards her. "Hey, Mr. Hunt don't you give me that. I have spoken to Miss Ascendant about your falls of several DECKS using an AG harness. So if you are telling me not to jump four steps, then I will have to ask you to forget the harness next time!!" Beka retorted. Dylan laughed, so hard he almost lost control of the ship, before shouting back to Rommie that they would have to talk about captain-ship privileges.  
  
On entry into the main compound of the base, Beka and Dylan could do nothing but stare upwards. The roof must have been 500 metres above their heads but the colour was what really caught their eye. The beautiful turquoise was undermined by a green, or was it silver? The tone seemed to be constantly changing, and Beka wondered how such a beautiful thing could house one of the worst cities for flash death in the known universe...she felt the air escape from her lungs, like she was being submerged in freezing water, as those terrible memories threatened to surface. She closed her eyes and drew a deep breath. Dylan took his eyes of the ceiling and gazed at Beka. Touching her arm softly, she smiled slightly and Dylan watched as she relaxed in his grip. Walking behind her a little he placed a hand on her shoulder and they fell into time.  
  
The building were they would spend the next few days was luxurious but felt foreign to both of the captains. Beka had grown up on the Maru and had spent the past three years on a warship; she had never lived in luxury.  
  
But even Dylan, who had grown up in Vedra, didn't feel at home in the embassy. Something just wasn't right; and Beka wasn't helping the situation. She was on edge and constantly looking over her shoulder.  
  
Dylan sat in his room one morning, during the little time he had outside negotiations. Someone knocked on the door. "Come in.," he said. "Dylan. Hi. Dylan. I... need. I need to go into the city; I just can't stay in this prison anymore. I need to see the city. I need to face the flash addicts. I need to visit the place where my dad died. I need..." she didn't say any more but just stared at Dylan. He looked her in the face and smiled. "You know I'm here Beka, and now I will come with you. What use is a captain if you can't use him," replied Dylan, worried by the true look of terror that Beka held, "We can go know. The talks can wait till this afternoon," he said "Lets go."  
  
As they left the embassy Beka concentrated hard, carefully putting one foot in front of the other. Dylan put his arm round her back and they set out under the watch of the turquoise eye. 


	4. Chapter four

Wasted Lives - chapter four  
  
Disclaimer - Much as I wish they were mine, and however long I wait for Father Christmas to deliver me the rights I don't and never will own any of the characters created, or devised, by the genius Gene Roddenbury, R.I.P.  
  
Pairings - Beka/Dylan duh!!  
  
Rating - PG-13 just to be on the safe side.  
  
Archiving - Ask and it will be granted but please don't take it without asking.  
  
The crowds moved like a dying snake, crawling but occasionally coming to a sudden stop. Light was scarce and the air around them tugged at her chest. She felt stifled but kept her head up as they walked. No one was going to see her fear. The fear that raced through her body, making her skin crawl with every brush, and which kept her nails dug firmly into the palms of her hands.  
  
The crowds grew to a standstill again, and a hand in the small of her back guided her to a niche by the side of the passageway. Beka wasn't afraid, but she knew that the hand belonged to Dylan. She turned to face him, and relaxed at the sight of the familiar face. She smiled, and he beamed softly back at her.  
  
Dylan took hold of one of her hands and loosely held it. Staring into her eyes he could see behind the wall she had tried to create, straight into the eyes of a little girl, scared and alone. He had promised her so many times that he would always be there, why had she never completely believed him? In all honesty Dylan knew that people like Beka never fully trusted anyone. She had grown up relying only on herself, and that was how she intended to stay. But there were periods when Dylan saw her at her worst and he couldn't believe that she still wouldn't let him get close. He glanced down and saw the raw nail marks that covered her palms.  
  
"Beka, oh my God, what have you been doing? Look at your palms!" he was scared by the level of self-mutilation that she had inflicted, in such a short space of time. "We have to go back now, and get your hands seen to. I promise we will come back her if and when you want."  
  
Beka stared up at him and nodded. She felt so much like a small child, as she latched onto Dylan's arm. Her hands fell limp as she began to feel the pain from the marks across her palms, and around her knuckles where the rings had left circles. What was she doing out here? What could she achieve by wondering around the dirt encrusted, horrific streets where her father had once been? He wasn't suddenly going to arrive and lift her up, telling her that he was home for good this time and that she and Rafe where safe. He never had and never would. But maybe she just needed closure.  
  
Later back at the headquarters the negotiations were completed, the trading laws agreed on and a ball was arranged. Harper, Trance and Tyr came down to join the rest of the crew on the planet. Obligated to go, Beka was helped by several female Acconiedz into an outfit. A loose fitting pair of trousers lay low slung at her waist and fell straight to the floor around her feet, and the simple sandals she was wearing. The black material that they were made of also created a strapless top that hugged her body. Covering the bodice and the top of the trousers was a wrap, made from a large piece of material of which the top two corners had been wrapped around and tied at the back of her neck. It was made of a fine fabric, finer and smoother than anything she had ever seen before, it was translucent and an alluring silver colour. Beka didn't like to dress up, but these clothes weren't bright, they didn't stand out amazingly, and she had to admit that, hell, they looked good. Her hair had been pinned up, her make-up done, and she sat staring at herself when the women left. You scrub up well girl, she thought.  
  
The door chimed, " Come in," she said. Dylan stood behind the door as it opened. "Wow.you look.amazing!" said Dylan, smiling. Beka walked over and held out her hand, "Are you going to escort me to the ball Captain Hunt?" "Yes, but hang on, wait." he pulled a box from behind his back. The green velvet was slightly tufty but the box took presidency of place in his hand. "Beka, I don't want you to think about anything grave tonight, I want you to have a good time," she began to grin, " and I want you to wear this." He opened the box and inside lay a hair comb. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, it was silver, and both sides had a chain of ever decreasing diamonds riding up. The sides were shaped like swans necks, and it was finished with a diamond about the size of Beka's index nail adorning the top. "Dylan, I don't know what to, I mean it's gorgeous." he stared down as she took it in her hand, and she began to smile again. She placed her hands around the back of her neck, and began to slide the clip in "Turn around Beka. Let me help you." after a moment of hesitation she placed the slide in Dylan's hand and turned around. He gently slipped the comb down into her hair, and then placed his hands on either side of her face. Beka closed her eyes, and tipped back her head slightly more. After a moment too long, he pulled back his hands, "It was my grandmother's, she told me to give it to the woman who ran my life, so I guess that's you." Beka laughed and turned to face him, gripping his hand as they left the room.  
  
None of the crew noticed any change in Beka, and Dylan saw how the 'kick ass' Valentine returned. It amazed him how much she changed and worried him. How often was she depressed as now, but put on a face to the rest of the crew? Trance was dancing with Harper, in slightly less hardwearing leathers. Tyr was on the dance floor with Beka, and Rommie was walking with him. "Ask her to dance. You might as well," said Rommie "Humph. sorry pardon?" replied Dylan, looking to her. "Ask, Beka, to, dance. Do I need to spell it out." she said again slowly. "Yes, well maybe." Said Dylan, as he looked back across at Beka. Rommie shock her head.  
  
"Captain Hunt, will you dance with me?" said a voice from behind him. He span around and saw Beka. He relaxed half of his body and shook his head slightly. "You know Miss Valentine, I think my ship has been speaking to you again," "Maybe!" she replied "Come on Dylan, dance with me." He held out his hand, and led Beka off. The music was slow, and Beka put her right hand on Dylan's shoulder, Dylan placing his on her back. They griped left hands. They danced.  
  
Slowly the room emptied, but the pair carried on dancing. Beka continued to stair into Dylan's eyes, and he stared back. Sometimes one of them would say something but mostly they stayed silent. The last piece of music came to a stop, and so did the dancers. The light around them was rousing, and Dylan brushed a piece of hair away from the side of Beka's face. "Let me in Beka, let me help you. " She placed two fingers on his lips,, and ran them round to the side of his head. He leant forward and she closed her eyes as their lips joined. The empty room gleamed, and Dylan drew Beka closer. When she pulled out of the kiss she spoke. "Dylan, you are giving all the help I need, don't worry." He lifted her into his arms and they made for Beka's room.  
  
They began to kiss again, and Dylan put his hand round the back of Beka's head. He felt the slide, and pulled it out. Her hair tumbled out, and fell to just above her shoulders. He pulled at the knot holding up her wrap, she helped him and soon it was off, leaving the bodice by itself. "I think I love you Beka," whispered Dylan in her ear. "I know I love you Dylan," was the only response, as Beka kissed Dylan again. 


End file.
